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ROUND TWO!

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Dear Future Navi and Niraalam, I still can't believe I have two kids. Right now both of you are fast asleep and I'm in between both of you and it's so sweet. Seriously, what is life?   So, in this blog I wanted to write about my experience with pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum for the second time around. In the future, if you guys are thinking about have a second kid or if anyone else reading this is thinking about having a second kid and they are on the fence, maybe this will help!  I was actually very content with one kid. (I know Niraalam! Wait! Just keep reading!) Having a baby is a lot of work! ALOT. It takes a toll on your mental, physical, emotional, hormonal, and financial state of being.  Some sources say it takes 6 to 8 weeks to recover from having a baby. At my last checkup, my doctor said it takes 6 months for a woman's hormones to go back to normal after birth. But some say, it takes 2 years to feel like yourself again. Whatever the timing is, it takes a

Lohri - Another gender biased festival???

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Dear future Navi and future Niraalam :)  Wow, I can't believe I'm addressing two of you now! What is life?!  I was going to write about my second pregnancy, second c-section, second post partum journey, but that will all have to wait because yesterday was Lohri and I'm kind pissed off at the world and I need to write/vent it out. (Also, both of you are sleeping right now and that's kind of rare!)  When I found out that I was pregnant again, I'm not going to lie, I was scared and anxious. This time I knew what to expect because this time I knew how hard it was going to be! (But I'll write more about that later) I accepted God's will and carried on. When I told your Maasi that I was pregnant again, the first thing she said to me was, "Don't worry Didi! I will come when you deliver and I will help!" A huge wave of relief came over me. I have always been incredibly thankful to have her in my life and this just meant everything. Her coming was a hug

Maternity and Baby Care in the U.S. vs. the UK

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Dear Future Navi (and any other future kids I may have), As you already know, mommy isn't from here. Mommy is from the United States of America! It's why I pronounce several words differently from you. It's why I make delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that none of your friends probably eat. It's also why I currently can't drive in this country! (Although hopefully by the time you read this I will have finally mastered those tricky roundabouts and I'll be driving us around everywhere!)  Some say that the U.S.A. is the best country in the world! But as of today in October of 2023, when it comes to having babies and maternity care, it might actually be one of the worst countries in the world. To start out with, to have a baby in the UK is free! It's all covered under the NHS. So no matter what, whether you have a vaginal delivery or a c-section, no matter how many days you stayed in the hospital, no matter how much toast and tea you have, it's fr

What my parents never told me . . .

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 Dear Future Navi (and any other future children I may have), This is going to be a tough blog but it will be one of the most important ones for you and for myself (mainly to keep myself accountable when the time comes!) But I want you to know that I am going to love you no matter what you do in life, no matter what you decide, no matter how you live your life. Please allow me to explain further. . . .  My generation received a lot of conditions from our parents. We were told to get married and have kids by a certain time. We were told what school, college, or university to go to. What degree to get and what profession to go into. We were told to focus purely on money when it comes to our career and even our future partner. We were told what we could and couldn't do in life in general and it kind of sucked. (I do forgive our prior generations though as most of them were immigrants living in survival mode.) But I don't want to pass all of that on to you. So, here is what I have

Breast Milk was not the Best Milk

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Dear Future Navi, In life you will have a lot of difficult obstacles to overcome. Studying for final exams. Getting into a good college or university. Finding and obtaining a really good job. Finding "The One." Planning a wedding. Correction. Planning an Indian wedding! But nothing, and I mean nothing, will be more difficult then those first few weeks following child birth. . . .  As you know, I had a c-section with you. And I was so thankful that I didn't get any side effects like life long numb legs or blood clots or you know, death! But, the first 6 to 8 weeks following a c-section are tough. I had to take very strong pain killers around the clock. I had to inject my stomach with some medicine that prevented blood clots. (I think it was a blood thinner, I don't remember, so much was going on in those weeks!) I couldn't get out of bed without your Dad's help. Standing, walking, leaning, and moving in general were just hard. My back was always in pain becaus

The Unplanned Planned C-Section

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My Dear Navi,  When it comes to having children, some women have super easy deliveries and pop our their baby in minutes. Some women have super traumatic life threatening deliveries that have twists and turns and unexpected surprises. My delivery with you was somewhere in between. . . .  If and when you ever have a child of your own, know this: When it comes to your delivery, it isn't your decision on how it will be. It isn't the baby's decision on how it will be. It is 100% the doctor's decision!  During my pregnancy, I was told that I could and should have a birth plan. And in that plan, I could indicate what I wanted and didn't want at the birth. But let's be real, nothing ever goes according to plan, so I didn't make one! You know I believe in the laws of attraction, so I decided to manifest my delivery, but here's a little secret: that didn't work either!  For so many months, I tried to picture myself having a natural vaginal birth. I didn't

My Big, Fat, Indian Pregnancy!

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My Dear Navi, One of the greatest lessons I want to teach you is to not give an F* about what people think about what you say, what you do, and most importantly how you look.  As life goes on and constantly changes, so will your appearance, your outlook on fashion, your makeup preferences and your weight. By all means, I hope that in the future you are still eating and loving all of your veggies (especially when I put them into a yummy tomato pasta!) and all of your fruits. I hope you are still loving the outdoors and that you take walks, and jogs, and exercise so that you can live your best and healthiest and most fulfilling life.  But please know that your weight might fluctuate time and time again and it's not a big deal! When I was in college, I worked retail and I was on my feet 24/7. I was pretty skinny. But then when I graduated I got a sit down office job and I went out to eat a lot with my friends and I gained quite a bit of weight. (But I do not regret that time spent wit